Reflecting ...

I have finally decided to blog after so long ...

Two years ago, I was there.
Looking at my squadmates being ____.
I feel really really sad.
To me, when they dont go,
they are at fault,
but i'm at fault too,
why didnt i persuade them to go.

On 5th june, history repeats itself.

I was going around ppl's blog and saw a lot "ANCO strength" blah blah.
People were frustrated over the lousy strength.
We sent the most, yet we have the most absentees.
I knew it, even before the day itself.
But, I didn't expect such poor results.
I tried my best to talk to them.
I tried my best to help them in whatever they need.
I tried to remind them of the consequences.
But, I failed.

Most of them trained together with me for months.
I trained them,
my trainers trained them,
my seniors trained them,
we trained together,
we win tgt,
we feel sad tgt,
we joke tgt.
To me, we are ONE.

Seriously, I respect your decision.
But I hope that you have really think through clearly before doing that.

I thought about my OTC interview question again.
Why did you want to go?
It's because of the people here, I replied.
My juniors.
It's them, my teams.
Actually I am really scared.
To be back to be trainees,
to receive all the scoldings and punishments,
to get signed extra, which I did.
I could have pick the easiest way,
by saying I quit,
but but i thought of them.
They are my motivation,
to endure through.

But now, I am lost.