I have been checking emails everyday.
The fear of receiving a bad news, it's a terrible feeling.
That day TT maam's msg made it worst.
Scary message, was really lost at that time.
I have been back at xms on almost every wed, every fri, every SJAB activity. I never fail to turn up. No matter how tired I am, how much work I have, how late the time is, i will just pop by and take a look. I dont really have to do anything, just taking a look is so so satisfying. I seems like I am addicted to coming back. Ppl say I have no life. When I say I'm going back they will be like again?! But but i guess they will never understand. Maybe I really have no life, but when I come back, I help them live their live to the fullest. I teach them how to walk from them only knowing how to crawl. I talk to them, shout at them, work with them and have fun with them. This feeling is great. Sometimes i dont know why I want to be back but somehow I will just be. I guess that's SJAB. I know that it is a meaningful place to be at, to motivate them and make them learn.
Sometimes it feels sad to be the only one back all the time. Everytime before I step in, I would secretly hope that I will see my squadmates there but this seldom comes true. But the joy of seeing my juniors seem to outweigh all that.
Sec 3s: I guess they are the bunch of ppl that really kept me coming back. This batch is really the one that I work with the most, through ITC, comp teams and usual activity. I always have so much fun with them around. I really can't imagine what sjab life for me might become without them around. But I heard before from a senior, if we continue because of a particular batch, it will be hard to carry on. But still, they are wonderful ppl.
Sec 2s: I have started to bond a slight bit with them through ITC. Hopefully they will improve by the time they come to bncoc at the end of the year. But not forgetting my Instructor Selection Camp.
Sec 1s: This few activities when I was back, I tried to take them for a few talking sessions and footdrill. They still have lots to catch up with but I'm sure they are trying hard. I hope that ISC will really train them up.
Have been thinking about how to make ISC as meaningful and beneficial as possible. Hope to get as much suggestions as possible. Had a PT session with the sec 3s that day to test run for ISC. I bet it was tiring for them but i guess they learnt a lot too. i can see that some of them are rather motivated. My legs are still aching but i knw it's the same for them as well. I am feeling very motivated and passionate abt the upcoming camp. But right now, it's less than a mth to promos. I dont want to retain so I really have to spend some time to study.
I am still surviving! (:
